"Sometimes, it is crazy isn’t it to hide your pain and laugh as if nothing happens in the first place. We work hard for a better life only to lose ourselves. We want love, we get love but after a certain point of time, we refuse to be blinded by love that people use it to control us. What’s weirder is the fucking fact that I’m sad as hell yet I’m finding ways to make it bearable at each and every step. "
Ammu craves love all throughout her life as long as she can remember. First of all, she used to think that birthday parties are the greatest gift of love that any parent can offer but it was a way to torture her soul. As she grew up, she grew to be stronger and better. She can sense clearly through words, actions, a pause in the speech or a slight tilt in the head. Sometimes, she found solace in playing with the stray dogs of her locality despite the objection of her parents. She enjoyed chatting with strangers and trying weird hairstyles that caught the eye of every person who saw her where ever, she went.
One day, it was her birthday, the same day which tormented her soul. The same birthday, she hated all throughout her life. The same day that forced her to fake a smile while the world applauded it. She wore the new dresses, went to the pub and got drunk but nothing stopped the ache in her heart. It was unbearable to force laughter that was so unreal. What shall you call it? A laughter or a hidden smile, she doesn’t know.
For years after years, Ammu hated her parents because they gave birth to her. Once, she screamed so loud that she banged her palms on the walls of the bedroom only to get her fingers broken for a month. She never loved her parents. She never found love and solace in them. No matter how much she tried, she was a failure. The world thought that she was one short of a sandwich but no one saw, what she saw behind the closed doors. Who was her parents? What did they do for her? Except wishing her death every now and then.
If you tell the world about it, you are bound to be judged, criticized, and misunderstood. No one thought of the pain that can be inflicted by any set of parents through their actions and words. Ammu wished no one to have such horrendous creatures in the world.
You must be judging her, right? Have you ever thought of the pain inflicted to her? Did you ever thought of the ways, how her dreams of a family are shattered to pieces?
How must have been hard for her to think, what she is thinking? Parents should be forgiven, parents should be loved after all, they gave us a life to live sacrificing their own life. But what about those parents who are self-obsessed, who inflicts pain on their child? Who loves their children in front of the world but abuse their children behind the closed doors?
Such parents shouldn’t be loved, shouldn’t be forgiven nor their actions should be forgotten because they are the children of their parents.
If we can’t forgive the abuse done by others, so who are those parents who does so to their children?
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