As all of you on Instagram, requested me to come up with this topic so here am I, writing once again after a long time. Undoubtedly, 2023 has been one of the worst years of my life but what’s worse was finding myself hopeless at one point and then filled with hope at other times. So how do you find hope in this world where everyone has the right to demotivate you?
How do you still keep on holding on to your own inner grit and determination when everything falls apart and you don’t know what to do? What would you have done in other times and still you are where you are today? Let us begin.
Some ways to find Hope in the darkest of times
1. Change your perspective
Many of the college students are aware of this, but as we grow old, we forget. Throughout the year, I am sure most of you have enjoyed your times in bunking and roaming around instead of studying and doing classes. When it comes to exam with more than half of the syllabus incomplete, we do change our perspective, right?
We study without the concerns of our results. We study because we have to pass our exams anyhow. We study because whatever has happened has happened and we unconsciously focus on what we can do now without worrying about our results.
That is what our life should be like focus on what you can instead of what you can’t. This change of perspective will help you in the long run in each and every aspect of your lives.
2. Become self-aware
2023 has made me cry like hell as I suffered from clinical depression, severe claustrophobia, and anxiety, I thought I am the only one suffering from all these negative emotions. The world around me is so happy with their jobs in foreign countries, fancy dresses and beautiful makeup but what I did forget is all of us have our own timeline to grow and flourish at our own pace. On my birthday too, I was reluctant to do ‘ha ha ha’ because it was my birthday. I needed my own space to feel my own emotions. Nothing is wrong in it. Your feelings are valid. Your emotions are valid. You are allowed to take as much space as needed.
If life is all about positivity, wouldn’t be our life the most boring of all, isn’t it?
3. Take your responsibility
In the darkest of times, we forget about who we are and what we can do for ourselves. All we do is remained worried about the people who said, “You can’t do anything. You are bound to fail. What more to life than accepting the situation.”
Despite all these voices around you, something triggers within you, that says No, I will prove them wrong. The reason being your anger and the hurt within you that delivers this message. We become so obsessed with what may happen, that we forget to do what we can.
For creative minds like us, it is important to focus on something you love, it may be a hobby or a profession that you want to pursue. Something that makes you happy without the world. You do it because it felt right. You do it because without it you feel guilty. You feel like your world is going to fall apart even if it is not up to the level of your satisfaction. The rest will take care of itself. First, ensure that no one can point a finger at you. This is what I feel responsibility should be all about.
You can also use affirmations and positive ‘I’ statement to change your perception towards the things that you can control.
4. Minimize / avoid toxic habits
My friend Anisha has developed a drinking habit at a young age of twenty-one-year-old. Regularly, she sneaks some of the alcohol from her parents’ bar counter and have it regularly to escape the anxiety that dreaded over her. Her parents choose a boy for her to get married but she doesn’t know him. Everyone in the family is talking about marriage plans when the fact is Anisha doesn’t know the person well. She wants to continue her studies and have a job before her marriage. She felt like her life ended and all she can do to escape is drink and fall asleep.
Many of you may have tried sleeping pills, drugs, smoking or sex but all it did was procrastinate on what you can do. Many did what they could to escape by partying more or dressing well but in reality, no one can escape the pain, hurt, betrayal and sadness. It is going to be a part of your life.
To avoid these toxic behaviors, we need to reevaluate and self-reflect on ourselves. We need to minimize or avoid the toxic behaviors to the best of our abilities. You may take a help of your friend or you may choose some professional help. However, it is important to have the inner belief such as:
“I am going to get rid of these habits. If I slide, its fine, I am going to try again and again till I succeed.”
5. Connect with other who have been through similar experiences
Anisha felt like she is the only one who is going to be the pressures of getting married early but many of her friends are also going through the same. Some of them succeed to do things in their own ways and others fail. What really matters is you are not alone; in some part of the world some other boy or girl is going through the same situation. Like her parents, there are parents who didn’t look after their children as they were more concerned with social parameters.
This not only helped her to get rid of victim mentality but also helped her to develop a positive outlook towards her life. As a result, it provided her with an inner strength to carry on with her life in an optimistic manner.
6. Seek professional help if needed
Sometimes, we develop behaviors unconsciously, we don’t understand many things been biased to the limitations around us. We don’t understand or know everything, we need people who help us to see the situation in a crystal-clear manner, give honest opinions and reviews without their vested interest. Seek any counsellor, therapist or a psychiatrist who can help you with your problems and work through them.
7. Lean on your faith
This is one of the most important things of all time is to have faith that something good is on the way. But, how do we have faith when everything is collapsing?
Its simple take one step at a time, then the next one and then the next one and one day your goal will be accomplished. However, what shall we do in case of external influences trying to pull you down.
In case of things where you have to choose between two most important things, what shall you do? Keep a calm mind, go out for a walk, meet with strangers, do breathing exercises and then think for once, which one to choose. The answer is right in front of you.
In case of toxic people and influences, maintain distance, don’t engage, don’t explain, just be away from them, that would do the work. in case of physical or mental illness, visit a doctor or some professionals who can help you in this regard.
This is a small thing that has worked for me, you can try it out as well. Imagine all the things you want for yourself, feel them as if they are a part of you already. If you want to be happy, imagine yourselves to be happy. Laugh, smile alone in the darkness of your bedroom or any other room. Talk to yourselves and act like a teacher if you want to be one alone. This helped me a lot to survive.
You may think I am mad but this works on so many levels. Just give it a shot for at least a month and let me know in the comment section.
I know I may sound unrealistic in so many ways when you feel like everything ended for you but this is not the end you deserve, life goes on, you will find a way for yourself, if not the one you want but the next and the next till you reach your goal. Best wishes for you and see you soon.
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