A Mother's Durga Puja

Nandini is a homemaker for about last three years of her life. She is only twenty years old who run away from her parents in the middle of the night to marry her husband at their friend’s place. Her father is a rickshaw driver; he had big dreams for her daughter that is to become a respected teacher. He worked hard for making his dream alive but without success. Within an year of her marriage, Nandini conceived her first born , with much precautions in the world full of masks and santizers , she gave birth to a little girl.

Babies were so good. They were the most adorable and beautiful creatures in the world. Nandini filled her bedroom with posters of babies while her classmates worked hard for their 12th board exams. She gave up her studies to sit at home and cook delicacies for her husband. After the birth of her daughter named Mouli, all she did is to stay awake 18 to 19 hours a day along with interrupted sleep in between. Her job is to raise her child, clean her potty, and feed her milk from time to time. A minute drowsed off to sleep is spend on remaining guilt-ridden for the rest of the day because somehow or the other the diaper will be over flowing into the mattress waking the baby up. No matter how hard she tried to sleep without her constant thoughts of her child hurting herself by falling off the bed, the fear remained itched in her.

It was a relief for her only when the baby started to grow up with her mother constantly putting up her happiest voice to entertain the baby while swinging her up and down the air. Sometimes, the weight of her baby was overwhelming especially while travelling on a crowded bus with nowhere to sit. If some strangers ask her baby to be placed on their lap, the baby will start crying. Moreover, the little hands around Nandini’s neck felt like the purest source of joy on Earth. The smell was enough to make her calm, making her efforts worth the wait. Over the course of past three years, Nandini never went to Pandal hopping during Durga Puja; all she did was go to the hospitals and temples for her daughter’s well-being along with occasional visits to Esplanade and Hatibagan. Her husband never took her outside their house for once because the survival of his family was at stake with no school or college degree to support him.

“Can you go to Padmini Madam house to give her the free passes for the Sreebhumi ? “, said her husband.

“ Why me? Why can’t you go ? I have to look after Mouli.”, replied Nandini with a frown on her forehead. “ Please Madam promised one of her friends for these passes today. “, said her husband with beats of sweat on his forehead sitting under the ceiling fan while his mother is holding a glass of electrolyte on her hands.

Nandini stayed quiet as she started to get ready while taking out her dress from the almirah with a loud bang that can be heard next door. She never left Mouli alone not for a day , its different when you go to washroom or cook dinner for her daughter but staying away from her is a purest sense of shattering that she never experienced before.

“ Maa, take care of Mouli”, said Nandini while kissing on her forehead, while her hands were placed on the tiny cheeks .

Nandini took long strides as if she is late for office to Sealdah. It was like a blanket that has been snatched from her. The absence of which makes her heart more aloof. She boarded a bus to stand at its entrance , waiting to reach her destination when she saw the entire city decked up as a bride with advertisements covering the usual sets of buildings like veil and the lights from one house to the next engulfing the street lights like a necklace around the neck. The city is bustling with women wearing crop tops and jeans , kurtas and leggings. Some of them were laughing with their friends about something inaudible. The shops are crowded as people were shopping at the roadside stalls while bargaining for the prices. The shop owners are expecting for a reasonable acceptance of increased price because it is Durga Puja. The people are fighting inside the bus as one passenger pushed another woman, many of them boarded down the bus deciding to walk because it is Durga Puja, nothing else . It is boring to sit inside the crowded bus .

Little did Nandini know about herself then, as it has been an hour without her daughter, her mother -in law called her to ask about the snack time of her daughter?

“ Cook maggi for her today with a bit of black pepper.” , said Nandini.

Nandini felt what she felt before, way before the arrival of Mouli. A deep retrospection in her soul, a loss of all her younger days was revived but somewhere she felt guilty about it. She started to walk out of the bus without paying its fare towards her destination to see huge idols of Maa Durga and her children inside a boat shaped Pandal. She walked further to feel the fresh air on her face while the loudspeakers were playing Chandi Paath. The city is joyous for the arrival of its daughter to her home. Nandini didn’t know what to do next except having some Puchkas on her way. She is as if a bird removed from her cage when all she was without a cage.

Nandini started walking then with a pink fluffy cotton candy on her hands and a plastic packet with two sets of earrings for herself. She found herself with a deep sense of guilt yet happiness at what she was doing. Instead of rushing, she let the things follow its own flow. Again, she boarded a bus with patience this time as there were passengers inside the bus who started to chat amongst themselves. It was new to her but she never remembered ever talking to strangers except her husband.

“ Thank you so much Nandini.”, said Padmini Madam from her doorstep. She didn’t allow Nandini inside her house as she smells alcohol and cigarettes from the entrance of her Madam’s house. Relieved at the end of her work , Nandini was commuting on her way back home when she saw a woman wearing a wine colored Hijab with a small bag on her shoulders with her daughter leaning her head on her mother’s shoulders. Nandini offered to keep the stranger’s daughter on her lap but the mother refused since her baby doesn’t trust strangers. In the bumpy road and the ups and downs of the entire journey , the mother protected her daughter from accidental bumps with a sheer hidden smile on her face that can be felt.

“Nothing can beat the joy of being a mother”, thought Nandini while she brought some orange candies for her daughter.